March 31, 2004

I figure I should write something.  I feel crappy today.  My throat hurts and I feel totally unmotivated to do anything.  I feel hopeless with almost all the people I knew for a long time.  I want to just be a loner.  I know what everyone will say--'you're being negative.' So for that I just want to be alone.   Great.  A thunderstorm outside.  Just what I wanted.

I saw this survey on this other blog and decided to do it because it is something to fill out, and I like filling things out. 

Last kiss: in my dreams
Last good cry: I can't remember, as I don't have privacy anymore in which to do it.  Probably three weeks ago.
Last library book checked out: Pirates and Privateers of the Caribbean.
Last movie seen: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Very interesting but it made me motion-sick.
Last book read: The Secular Revolution....Smithy is my idol.
Last cuss word uttered: I don't remember; I kind of say them nonchalantly.  Probably shit.
Last beverage drank: Milk
Last food consumed: Taco salad
Last crush: Don't give me this bullshit.  I haven't had a crush in forever.
Last phone call: from Kate, asking to go eat.
Last tv show watched: Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher.  I hate Ashton Kutcher.  He's so annoying.  On the other hand, I got to make fun of Nick Carter becoming ghetto fabulous.
Last time showered: Yesterday night...I probably should go that after this.
Last shoes worn: my new balance sneakers.
Last cd played: I have no idea; i haven't been listening to cds, just mp3s.
Last item bought: chicken nuggets from Chik-Fil-A, but if you don't count that...then...probably toilet paper.
Last annoyance: my throat feeling really dry and swollen.
Last disappointment: when I was thinking about how hopeless it is with people that I used to have such great times with
Last soda drank: none, because I detest soda.
Last thing written: notes in Linguistics class.  Then this.
Last key used: s
Last word spoken: Bye. 
Last sleep: last night from 2-10
Last im: Stephanie
Last weird encounter: when I was thinking about Carrie and Scott and then all the sudden Scott was next to me in his car.  And also more recently, when I was inside Carroll auditorium taking my Sociology exam, where there are no windows, how I had weird sensations of being wet on my arm, and then thinking, "I wonder if it is raining outside?", and then discovering when I was done that it had rained.
Last ice cream eaten: Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough 
Last time amused: at Kate thinking she would be the hated child again once Archimedes moved out, and at her Chase comment card, which rebuked the Chase staff for not playing the Mortal Kombat theme song.  It went something like this, "If I were Scorpion I would say 'Get over here! And play the Mortal Kombat theme song!' Heed my plea!"  This is our 3rd plea after all.
Last time in love: too long
Last time hugged: probably like a week ago, I hardly get much physical contact
Last time resentful: Today
Last lipstick used: I don't use lipstick, only lipgloss, so my vanilla kind probably.
Last bra worn: my boring tan one that is good for wearing under white shirts.
Last shirt worn: I'm wearing my UNC shirt now, but yesterday I wore my Bandit shirt.
Last time dancing: Whoa, probably when I did Dance Dance Revolution a loooong time ago.
Last poster looked at: Ashley's hot Legolas poster.

1 MINUTE AGO: I got back from eating at Chase.
1 HOUR AGO: I sat around looking at forums and watching Punk'd, listening to Andrew and Ashley discuss their 6-month-aversary
1 DAY AGO: I crammed and stressed over my Sociology exam and read Yeats's "The Lake Isle of Innisfree" in English class
1 WEEK AGO: I eagerly awaited Friday, where I could go to the North Mississippi Allstars concert at the Cat's Cradle.
1 YEAR AGO: Probably doing something with Carrie and Scott
I HURT: a lot of the time.  At least in the way that I feel like no one gives a shit.
I LOVE: writing and sincerity, Dave Matthews
I HATE: Bush, me feeling tired all the time now, thunderstorms, not being able to drive around, feeling alone, and schoolwork
I FEAR: that I'll die alone, and also, tornadoes.
I HOPE: things will work out, especially for a certain two people.
I FEEL: sick.  My throat hurts.
I HIDE: my inner feelings most of the time.
I DRIVE: around aimlessly when I get the chance.
I MISS: feeling like I had somebody.
I LEARNED: that I doubt too much, I'm negative, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I NEED: somebody, or maybe just something to focus on.
I THINK: way too much.

Current clothes: UNC shirt, billabong hoodie, black corduroys, and socks with puppies on them.
Current mood: sick and forlorn
Current music: nothing
Current taste: nothing, although i had some cookies
Current hair: half-pony tail, and in need of washing...which I'm about to go do.
Current annoyance: My throat still hurts
Current smell: nothing
Current thing I should be doing:  Reading for English and writing a reaction paper.  And showering. 
Current desktop picture:  John Kerry and John Lennon together.  Man John Lennon was great.
Current refreshment: water
Current worry: That I won't be able to sleep tonight

1. What do you most like about your body?: My eyes and my hair
2. And least?: my fat ass. Which I plan on getting rid of this summer.
3. How many fillings do you have?: none 
4. Do you think you're good looking?: Not really, I think I could be but let's just say if I got a grade for looks, it would be "Needs Improvement."
5. Do other people often tell you that you're good looking? Some people comment on my hair but mostly no. 
6. Do you look like any celebrities?: Hell no.